Imaginative Hiding Games

The past few days, the boys have played for hours outside, making weed and grass houses for their animals, hiding them and asking me or Riah to find them. I have really enjoyed the simplistic and calming effect of this game. Children need more time to create and explore. I love giving mine this time. 

There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.  ~Mark Twain

Unassisted Play

Last night Ben and I had the kids go outside to play. The weather is still reaching over 100 during the day so cabin fever has set in and is going crazy right now. We have some large pieces of cardboard boxes that have been broken down and slowly making their way into the recycling, some dirt and some trees in our backyard. The kids, armed with, simply put, only their imaginations headed out to explore.

After about 15 minutes, I peered outside and they were all engaged in a very intense game of throwing " knives and tomahawks" at their target. The goal was to pierce the target ( the cardboard) and thus making a point. We had so much fun watching them take on characters, " Caila ( Riah), Shirley ( Austen, haha), and Doomer ( Jayden). They played this game for over an hour and then again, bright and early in the six o' clock morn.

Free, unassisted play. Imaginative, creative, resourceful play. Play on babies, play on!

never to do anything, without being dressed to the "t"

Too Plugged In?

Are our children too plugged in? I have cut the plug on facebook for the next week. Honestly, it seems kind of ridiculous considering three years ago I barely used the thing and now I have to "detox" my way from the constant news feeds and interesting daily tidbits of friends both near and far. There is nothing wrong with facebook, per se. However, why do we feel this deep desire to post random thoughts both funny, gross, mundane or news breaking to a mass amount of people?

Again, I am not bashing facebook but thinking, how much of "it" do I want to be apart of my life and shape my future. Friendships, true friendships are forged with heart to heart talks whether over the phone, in person, doing a shared activity. Webster's definition of friendship,

Friend (n)- " one attached to another by affection or esteem" 

Friend (v) - " to act as a friend to one ( befriend)

 

I was reading an article by Dr Michelle Borba that really alarmed me and has really caused me to fight even more against this tidal wave of "plugged in" . Our children's generation is labeled, " Gen Net". She stated, " the average 8-18 year old is now plugged into some type of digital media  7.5 hours a day....studies show that youth online time has steadily increased by 38% in the past five years...." -more from Michelle Borba.   

She goes on to explain that due to the rapid increase in ipads, iphones, texting, facebook, skype, etc.... there is hardly any research done to see what types of long term effects these devices will have on our children. Call me old fashion, no really do, I would take it as a compliment, but I would love to have raised my children in the early 1900s. The thought of them being able to ride their bikes at night, play for hours in the creeks, explore in the vast amounts of woods ( think Tom Sawyer), eating unprocessed foods, small town feel....it all seems so romantic to me. Yes, I understand there were many hardships that went along with that time period but ride my sentimental wave with me. 

This article is just fascinating and disturbing all at the same time. She goes on to state that research is just starting to come out showing a correlation between increased screen time and decreased parental attachment in children. 

               " What’s potentially at stake for our plugged-in children lives is serious including the diminishment of the strength of our bond with our sons and daughters, the loss of strong family relationships, rituals, memories, and interactions, and stunted development of our children’s empathy and social skills. The fact is kids don’t learn crucial life and character skills such as empathy, communication, emotional intelligence, respect, sharing, friendship-making, leadership, social skills, conflict resolution, listening, compassion, tolerance–the list goes on but I think you get my drift–by facing those screens or having earphones jammed in. While a digital world may enhance our children’s cognitive growth, it does little to affect their moral, social and emotional development. And do beware: a parent-child relationship can not be strengthened when a child or parent is plugged in or attached to a digital device."

 

I encourage you to read the entire article. If you click on the blue highlighted areas it will bring you to an even more extensive article factoring in research and other key factors that are playing into our children's "plugged in" worlds. So what can we do to combat this, to keep our children's hearts young and full of empathy and understanding, to share and transition to them the skills and character that we have learned through the years???

Here are a few ideas to get them out in nature, away from the screen, into the toy closet and with you:

* camping trips- even a short 2 day trip with a fire, the stars and exploring will fulfill such a void

* reading

* interactive play- get down on their level and play with them

* treasure hunts- hid something in the neighborhood and make a map with clues trying to locate the item ( put on your pirates hat)

* play GAMES! games that do not require BATTERIES!

* Listen to books on cd on a player that is audible to the whole family

* read joke books

* have a family cooking night where the kids pick what the meal will be and everyone helps to prepare it ( life skills 101)

* build forts, out of blankets, cushions, tree branches, whatever you have on hand. Eat lunch in there and pretend you are on an island. 

            ** side note, I remember VIVIDLY when I was younger getting off the school bus in kindergarten and stowing away to the huge snow forts my Dad would help us create in the winter. I would carefully walk along the "cliff edges" until I was safe in my fort. I could hear the cars passing but they couldn't see me :) I loved the adventure I felt hiding in there, on my own, independent. I also remembering, like it was yesterday, sitting in a tent in the backyard that my parents had set up and reading and playing in there, all alone....again, feeling that I was on this grand adventure. These are the memories I want for my children **

* If you are going to play a video game, play it together. I do not have a WII but that is one aspect of that I was pretty impressed about - the ability to bowl, play baseball, etc together.

* Make family dinners a time to laugh, enjoy and recap the day. I know this is something we really have a hard time with. Its not quite the relaxing and enjoyable as I would like it, mainly due to the constant throwing of food on the ground by my one year old or helping cut food for the younger ones. Yet, I am working on this!

Finally, use common sense. Common sense would tell you 7.5 hours of "plugged in" time is way too much and not practical. How can we lower this and extend our children to a tactical world void of Internet pictures and Internet reactions where a superficial life style is so easily achieved. Am I anti Internet, definitely not. I blog, don't I? :) What I am fighting against, vigilantly, is the amount of time I allow my children in front of these devices. What are you waiting for, go out and explore, read, bake, cook, laugh, and look into their eyes! Here is some research to leave you with, according to Dr Borba,

"Fifty years of solid child development research confirms that the most powerful source of psychological impact on children are the strength of their relationship with their parents." 

 

 

How Expensive Are Your Children?

Due to rising gas prices, I have been thinking about the costs of things lately. Where to go, where not to go, how to consolidate my trips, etc. and then I start thinking about the kids what they cost, what they need , etc. To be honest, yes they eat food and need the basic necessities in life but kids are as expensive or inexpensive as you want to make them ( and this has nothing to do with medically related expenses- that is a whole other story). I am talking about toys, stuff basically.

I can remember the different fads going on in school and how I had to be apart of them. As a parent, you get sucked into this mentality so much more if you are not careful. Children will appreciate a pad of paper and crayons way more than a new game system if you have taught them the beauty of imagination and creativity. They will appreciate a simple walk around the neighborhood and stopping to find the tiniest wievel in the grass if you let them. My kids have taught me "simple" on many, many different levels. The saying, " stop and smell the roses", children really DO this and I forget, as a fast paced adult to stop if it weren't for my children.

What do kids need? They need me to sit down and play with the toys they already have with them, to read a novel together, to play games they already have. They do not need me to buy them entertainment gadgets that will only take time away for them and myself, their time together or deprieve them of alone time where they could be learning the importance of down time.

My challenge is think before you buy.....many times magazine will label this toy as " educational" when in essence, it is merely a ploy to pull you or your child into a world of fast paced, image loaded, sound magnified "stuff". Go to the library, check out a FREE book and read it together, go on a nature walk, laugh together, tickle each other and enjoy simple- everyone else tries to complicate childhood with stuff- simplify it and enjoy the peace the comes with it. Children are a blessing from the Lord- God will give you creativity on how to enjoy your blessings, have more blessings by simply releasing yourself with brands, too much toys and other things that cloud your mind.

Imaginations

I talked with a friend yesterday and was really surprised when she mentioned that , as a teacher, she had asked her students to write a creative writing assignment, in 3rd grade, and they had no imagination and struggled to do so. This made me feel so sad for what we are doing to our children in this society. If you know me well enough, you know how much I detest many of the ploys thrown at children and their parents today to distract them from creating and using their own mind. For the most part, I am anti branded anything....I even have a hard time with lego themes but typically, my boys get the set, it breaks and then end up taking the pieces and recreating something that their own mind thought of , not what the directions dictated for them to do.

Why are our kids asked to grow up so fast? Why must they move from toys to electronics at warp speed? I want to treasure and embrace this period in their lives where it is innocence, creative fun. My boys run around pretending to be " Lion Detective and Sally Sheep and Money Mongrel" They have this entire story line that they play EVERY single day, multiple times a day, in the backseat of the car, in our home, in bed. They draw pictures of aliens ( or how they picture them to look in their own minds), Lion Detective. One of the most prized possessions that all three of my kids wanted was a notebook of their own to simply spend the day coloring, drawing and creating. What more could a mama like me ask for?

I will round the corners of their bedrooms and find all three sitting, playing legos together ( including Riah), building things out of magnetic blocks, playmobil, pop art jewelry and solid, plastic animals from Target. I asked them one day, why don't you take your animals outside and play in our "Serengeti" and they spent two hours out there imagining and creating their own world.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand why we would take this away from our children. Why do they need an ipod, electronic EVERYTHING, stimulation beyond control to entertain them. I saw a mom going on a walk around the block with her two year old watching a movie...for real, does a two year old really need to be entertained on a half hour walk....why not point out the animals you see, the sounds you hear, let them hold a stick or pick them a flower....or let them just sit and enjoy the quietness, the stillness.

My advice is please, before you jump on the toy band wagon of today- just as many of you question vaccinations and the research behind the product ( ie who is funding it), think of who is mass producing our toys and what their agenda is, you will be surprised. From fifty years ago to today, most of the local toy companies are now out of business and Mattel and Hasbro control the vast majority of any toy that hits our stores. Look at the research and the reason behind such toys. Yes, barbie has changed a lot since her beginning days- but did you know that she was modeled after a sex toy in Germany for men and the mom who created her liked how it gave women more sex appeal. I am NOT anti-barbie; I played with Barbie. My point is do your research and do not walk blindly down toy aisles and say , oh this must be the new "educational" toy of the year. Give your children some Lincoln blocks, some books, play dough and imaginary toys that do not say or do anything so they can create and recreate. You will be allowing for our future engineers, doctors, parents, pastors, architects, police officers, etc to think and create in new and innovative ways, and not with mass produced ideas.