Ice Cream

Sweet.Creamy.Chocolaty Goodness. Blonde Sticky Hair. Chocolate Smiles. Big Blue Eyes Dancing. Slurping. Wet. Melting. Sweet. Decadent. Gone.

Spelling Pictures

What a busy day we had. Three of the four kids had well child check ups and wow they are all doing great, tall and light, not a huge surprise to me! Hannah comes in at a whopping 17 lbs 3 oz which is a weight gain of almost 3 lbs in two months! Moriah at 30 lbs and Austen at 41 lbs. I am assuming Jayden is between 49-51 lbs so they are all doing well. Besides Hannah, they are all at the tall end of the spectrum so great trip.

We then ventured over to a nearby store to check out some sales and I ended up purchasing a piece of furniture originally $140.00 for $19 (including tax)!!! I love saving money; we swam, ate lunchables and then came home to do some school and put the younger girls to bed.

The boys and I cuddled in the rocking chair and read Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Burton together. I really enjoy this story. I love the small town feel, the hardworking aspects of Mike and Maryanne and the wisdom of the small child over the adult bickering. We discussed, again, who was responsible in the story and why. I think they understand responsibility after all this talking about it. We read a couple of more stories and then moved on to our language arts and math for Austen (I am still waiting on Jayden’s math in the mail).

Earlier this morning over breakfast, we discussed what our responsibilities are given to us by God. A few examples we came up with are: “Love the Lord your God…”, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel”, “Love your neighbor as yourself”, etc. We also read some questions from our “Answers in Genesis” children’s series that we are enjoying. This particular series really involves the kids at a young age by equipping them to learn why they believe what they believe and giving them a basic foundation in apologetics.

Finally, with Jayden’s language arts he is working on spelling correctly five words a week and I am adapting some of Dianne Craft’s (a speaker from this past year’s homeschool convention) methods. Sitting in one of her seminars, she talked about how if the left brain method is not working on a child ( logic, black and white, systematic, orderly…) then that’s fine just switch to the right brain ( sporadic, colorful, creative, spontaneous…). She then continued to explain how many kids are right brain learners and so reciting things like spelling words is not helpful to them; no matter how hard they try, they will not be able to spell the word correctly. Dianne suggests adding pictures to the words to put a visual picture in their mind, increase their brain retention thus making it much easier to remember and learn these words. This can be applied to math, spelling, phonics, etc.

Last year, spelling was somewhat of a challenge to Jayden and I know that Austen learns by pictures already so I figured that it’s worth the extra work on my part, to save on time and frustration on their part. Below is an example of how we are learning the silent “k” words. You can get more information at Dianne Crafts website: www.diannecraft.org

Martin Luther

Today was a continuation of a great school year. We continued with our study of responsibility and read more on the life of Moses. The kids than each drew pictures of the different plagues, the burning bush or anything else that they could remember from our Bible reading. Jayden was also asked to write a few sentences that turned out quite well. He writes very well; there was just a few minor spelling issues and the biggest issue is spacing between words which only comes with time.

I read the Little Red Hen to the kids, we listened to Michelle Obama read "Horton Hatches an Egg" and discussed who was responsible in this story and why. It was a great continual introduction of our study.

Something that has been heavy on my heart is that educating our children at home is so much more than simply teaching math, language arts its more heart based. To mold their hearts to love and desire to serve God; to love the Lord irregardless of culture, society or moral declines. I feel that this is such a heavy burden at times yet I know God has the utmost confidence in us because He gave these children to us. I am so thankful to be educating them and to be sculpting their tender hearts towards God.

We are going through a hymn a month or bi monthly together. Today, we studied Martin Luther and read why he wrote " A Mighty Fortress is our God". I find all of this so fascinating because, honestly, half of it I did not even know. After reading about Martin Luther and talking about why he separated from the Catholic church we came over to the computer and listened to the hymn on youtube and sang along. My desire is that the history behind the song as well as the meaning of the song would go deep into their hearts.

The cool thing about home educating is that when you invite the Holy Spirit to fill in the gaps for all of your inadequacies and insecurities he not only fills you with amazing confidence and courage but also a sense of overwhelming grace for what is being accomplished and yet to be accomplished. Here we were, sitting and listening to these hymns in various forms, organ, contemporary, acoustic, etc and the presence of the Holy Spirit was so strong I couldn't help but cry with Riah and Austen on my lap and Jay hugging on my neck as I asked each of the kids if they would be the Martin Luther of this generation, to wake up our spiritually dead country and spiritually dead churches. It was a precious, sweet moment as you could tell they felt the presences of God and just praying that we would be a family who says "no" when the world says "yes". Wow, amazing home schooling day. Thank you Jesus! I could never do it without you!

First Day of School 2011-2012

I know its blurry but Austen asked that I take his picture with " my best friend Hanns"

another year with a vibrant learner :)

Welcome back! I am so happy to be blogging again about school and not about all the other issues of our lives. We had a great first day back at school. The kids woke up much earlier than I did as I was up late signing them up for different activities throughout the valley and reserving their places in other events. However, they played quietly, which they are great at doing now and Jay came in to let me know that Miss Dainty, our resident tooth fairy, had come again and left " two whole dollars" for the front tooth that he brushed out.

We came downstairs and enjoyed green pancakes with honey and even Hannah joined us for breakfast, something that she typically sleeps through. I decided to skip my workout today as we were having some handymen come and fix odds and ends around the home. ANYWAYS, we started with Konos- yeah!!! Our character trait is responsibility for the next 13 weeks and it is going to be so incredibly fun!!! I cannot even wait to dive into this trait!

The lesson began today by asking what is responsibility. The kids came up with very good suggestions of what would be considered responsibility ie: what would happen if the anole was not fed, the clothes were not washed ( Moriah- " they would be dirty"), did not water the plants, etc. Then, we discussed what it means to be responsible, can we be responsible for everyone else's things , etc.

The three little pigs came into play and we had  a great time reading the story and acting it out with our "three little pig felt homes" that the kids' Grandma made for them. I remember reading this exact story with my own Grandma as a child and it brings back so many great memories of sitting on her lap, looking out the huge front window into the country landscape. Also, we stood in a line and sang " I've Been Working On the Railroad" together. At one point, Austen just stared at me refusing to pretend because he didn't have a real hammer. Oh my!

Finally, we discussed different verses in the bible that pertained to responsibility. We are focusing on Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 6:33 for the next few weeks. Jayden read out of the bible about Moses and the burning bush and the responsibility that Moses was given by God to instruct and teach the children of Israel. Responsible actions give rewards while irresponsible ones have consequences. It was so fun to just hear Austen comment throughout the day, that is responsible, no that is not responsible. I LOVE how interactive activities and biblical teaching go hand in hand in this home educating journey!

We finished up with some more books, sing spell read and write with Austen, Austen's first grade math, some drawing and listening to Adventures in Odyssey. An incredibly great first day back! I am really looking forward to tomorrow and picking up some chocolate chips and butter as we were missing two MAIN ingredients for our back to school cookie cake. I hope all my other fellow home educating mamas enjoyed their day

Happy Birthday Hannah!

WOW! Where did this past year go?!?!?!?! I can remember everything about this moment, a year ago, so vividly. Feelings of complete peace and tranquility and strength as Hannah came into this world. I have never written down my birth story of Miss Hanns so I thought, what better time than on her precious, precious one year old birthday.

On Monday, July 26, 2010 I went into my midwife's office where she said I was dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced. Typically for me, that means I will be going into labor quite soon. I felt very encouraged leaving her office with Ben and excited for truly embarking on my first natural labor.

From the moment I found out everything was ok with Hannah's pregnancy I began to prepare mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually for a natural labor. To me, this was extremely important. I would practice making my body completely limp and relaxing every ounce of me, section by section. I had Ben create a "birth music" playlist with Kari Jobe and Hillsong songs that sang of God's provision, faithfulness, strength and power. Hannah's pregnancy was nothing short of a miracle so I wanted to make sure that I felt the Holy Spirit during the entire process.

That afternoon Ben and I went to Logan's. I ate, what I already knew, as my last real meal before welcoming Hannah into the world, tilapia with fruit salsa, steamed vegetables and plenty of yeast rolls. We drove to the bank for a meeting and then came home. The slight cramping had begun but nothing to special so I started moving around like crazy.

My mother in law was in town to help with the kids so as she played with them I made sure my bag was packed, my music on my ipod was set and that my house felt clean. There was an internal excitement welling up inside of me, an almost ultra peace and it was a matter of time. I didn't want to slow down because I knew the contractions might stall so I kept going and going and going.

Finally, that hot July evening we put the kids to bed and I asked my mother in law if she wanted to walk with me. Of course she said yes :) We walked and walked and talked and talked. We walked past the local coffee shop, down the sidewalks that radiated the day's heat off of them. The sun began to set and we continued to walk. I remember walking down a twisty sidewalk and the contractions beginning to increase in intensity but I walked through the contractions praying that they would only become stronger. As we walked in the darkness, sprinklers popped up around us and sprayed us with a cool, refreshing mist. Headlights were now everywhere on the oncoming traffic and we walked back into the quiet neighborhood and headed home.

I sat down, drinking water and felt each and every contraction but now I needed to have the slight pause between them. The kind where you just can't quite talk through them. I focused on the up and the down the release and the build up. I was doing this, I was going to do this natural!! We tried to play a pathetic game of banangrams but then I stopped and asked Ben to walk with me. So, away we went.

We talked and talked and walked and walked. I remember passing our neighbors and them asking , " So, when are you due?" and saying " hopefully tonight!". I remember listening to the quietness of the night and the constant chirping of the crickets. The air was so heavy from the heat of the day yet being outside, in the vast openness of the night gave me a sense of freedom and not confinement that I had felt in the hospital.

The contractions were now at the point where I did need to stop, let it pass but it was " discomfort". I was very careful this time around to label my "pain" with words that gave me strength and not fear, " this hurts" makes you feel 100% different that " this is uncomfortable". We finished our walk, Ben's mom had gone to bed and I decided to transition into our bath tub to relax.

Ben set the bathroom up for me, candles, music and warm water. I relaxed and relaxed. I would get up, and go to the bathroom and then come back and continue to relax. As each contraction would come I simply would let the running water of the faucet relax me, make my body fall completely limp with my head drooping to one side and allow the wave to rise and fall. The strength that I felt during these moments was amazing. I felt the presence of God so strongly in my bathroom. The same bathroom where only months earlier had caused me so much heartache and grief. The song " Stronger" by Hillsong playing " You are stronger, you are stronger, sin is broken you have saved me. It is written, Christ is risen, Jesus you are Lord of all" encouraged me through each contraction and I labored with the Lord- this scene in my mind was the most beautiful experience of I have ever felt.I literally felt as if the Holy Spirit was behind me and breathing through each contraction with me. Breathtaking!

As the water continued to run and I started feeling stronger and stronger waves I knew I was transitioning. I remember this feeling with Jayden- right before I became stuck at an 8 for three hours with him and ended up getting an epidural. However, this time I remained calm, in constant prayer and moved into the bathroom where my body continued to empty out. I do not throw up during my pregnancies however, I knew I was transitioning because I started to feel extremely nauseous and asked Ben for a trashcan where I threw up about 4x.

After that episode, this was around midnight, I got back into the bathtub but my mindset was getting bored of laying and the waves were getting much, much stronger so I told Ben, " one more walk". Walking out into the night with complete stillness under a moon that lights up the sky is a beautiful beautiful sight. However, I had transitioned so I felt the openness and calmness of the night but the low moaning had begun. The crickets were chirping, all the lights were off in the homes around us and it was silent completely silent except for my moaning. We would walk a few steps and I was able to walk through the smaller waves, but then a large wave would form and it would build and build and build until the only thing I could do was become totally dependant on Ben's strong body for support and allow myself to fall limp into his arms and moaning long and loud. Yes, labor is loud , and it is very loud for me!

We rounded the bend, the half way point in our walk near the park and I knew I could not make it any further. If you know me, to stop a walk midway is something I NEVER do. However, I was at the point now where I could hardly walk. Fear started to creep in a little and I prayed, " God give me strength, you know how much I want to do this natural". When you go through something so hard, as I did with Hannah, you want to feel the labor because that is a constant reminder of all the work and prayer that has been associated with bringing a new life into this world. Prayer brings blood, sweat and tears.

We somehow made it back to our home. I honestly canNOT tell you how. I remember the crickets. The darkness. The waves, oh the strong, STRONG waves of contractions coming over me with about 30 seconds between each contraction. To say I felt that we were close to the end was an understatement. Typically, I curl my hair, apply sweet touches of makeup here and there and head off all cute to the hospital. Umm, no, I looked at my pitiful face in the mirror with half wet hair from my bath and the inability to stand upright and thought if we don't have Hannah in the car I will be amazed.

I crawled, literally crawled moaning through my bedroom, living room and kitchen while Ben scurried around putting things into the car, getting the a/c on and backing it out before lifting me up and putting me in the front seat. HAHAHA! I could not even lay down, let alone sit. I moved myself to the back seat on all fours and pretty much moaned, yelled and grunted while he drove all the way to the hospital. I remember streetlights flashing, fear starting to creep in and strength all in the same moment. I remember pushing my face into the back seat cushions and yelling, literally yelling as the contractions came on so strong I could hardly breathe at times.

When we arrived at the hospital, Ben pushed me in the wheelchair and registered me. That was a joke in and of itself. They were asking me for my birthday. " Mam, mam, we need your birthday in order for you to go up and HAVE YOUR BABY!" No, actually you don't need my birthday. I worked in a hospital; this information is simply for insurance reasons so you get PAID. Yes, typically I am a very collected person- at that moment I was not open to a Q & A session. Ben answered the remaining completely frustrating questions as I sat under sterile, fluorescent lights in an ER waiting area with the sounds of heart monitors and the buzz of a tv behind me. Then it hit me, I was in pain and I wanted an epidural. Why, because someone, somewhere in that hospital could take every ounce of this pain away from me and my focus started draining, I was getting tired.

After hearing me moan and yell from the confines of  the wheelchair the nurse came down and said, " Oh, WOW! She is in active labor" and rushed us upstairs. The brought me to triage and quickly scratched that seeing that yes, I was beyond triage stage and brought me into labor and delivery room. Ben called my friend, Angela, who I had asked to be our doula and as I waited for her to come  I tried relentlessly to convince Ben that in between waiting for my midwife, Ramona, or Angela that an epidural was our saving grace. I was completely dehydrated so they hooked me up to an iv and I just kept saying to Ben, over and over, " No, really, its ok I lied, I do want an epidural". Displaying more strength than I could have ever shown someone in that much pain kept saying, "Amanda, you are almost there and will be so mad at me if I let you have one." He even went so far as pushing the "epidural release" form away when they brought it. Finally, Angela and Ramona arrived - those few minutes of being at the hospital felt like a thousand years. I hated being there, yet loved my very supportive team. Ramona, oh Ramona, she came in and I felt like I had a mother there. She was so strong, encouraging and supportive. She kept saying, " you are almost there, you can do this." She put a peanut looking ball between my legs to allow me to relax and continue to dilate. I am literally surprised I did not kick anyone as I kept trying and succeeding at kicking and pushing that thing away from me.

However, when contractions came I went limp. All of my practice was paying off and I kept praying, " God, please I want to do this but I am at my most vulnerable and weakest right now so please, don't let me stall like I did with Jayden"

The amazing thing is, when you have no epidural, you feel the need to push. No one needs to tell you. You feel power and strength amidst your weakness. I feel a spiritual application coming on, Hallelujah. After what felt like an agonizing TEN hours I said, " I need to push, I need to push" and my midwife said, " alright, let's go!". I pushed and pushed. Pain, let me tell you about pain, that my friend is pain. What did the puff fish say on Finding Nemo, " The ring of FIRE!!". Oh yes, my child,  the ring of fire. How can I describe that sensation- nothing less than a bowling ball trying to be pushed through a pin drop opening. I screamed bloody murder, then the contraction would subside for a split second and starting building and I would push and scream bloody murder again.

Now, I am sure there are more " collected" mothers than I - "jolly good" for you. I have never screamed like I did that fateful night never before in my life and never again. That was the LOUDEST labor I have ever had. The nurse from the hospital quietly slipped over and shut the door. Sweet, sweet nurse. I pushed and pushed and screamed and screamed until I felt the most burning sensation and thought I am a gonner and then all of a sudden there was sweet Hannah's head and I pushed again and time stood still. The room was dim, there was no heavy fluorescent lights, everyone's actions around me slowed to a fraction of their pace and the noise dwindled as the most amazing miracle emerged from the warmness of my body and now was being held in my arms.

Do you know what that's like? To hold someone who you never thought you would have the chance to hold, to kiss someone who you never thought you would have the chance to kiss. Tears streaming down my face as I recall that moment of triumph. Kissing, kissing her wet, warm body, her sweet puffy face with a little bruise on it from being pushed out so quickly. Hannah, Hannah, Hannah- God's favor and grace sought with much prayer. I sat there, shaking from adrenaline pumping through every ounce of my veins and clutching her with everything in me, afraid to let go, afraid being woken up from this beautiful dream and thanking God over and over. My precious, precious Hannah.

After time stood still for me, kissing Hannah, kissing Ben, I cannot express the amount of gratitude that I was pushing heavenward. I was in love, with Ben, with Hannah with God. The moment will be forever carved into my mind. I stood up ( which is a huge thing when you are used to epidurals) and used the restroom, WALKED to my recovery room and relaxed. I had no numb legs, no side effects, no tearing just a beautiful, perfect miracle, a supportive husband and an amazing family back home. This is what life is about! This was pure ecstasy. The next few days I sat in the hospital, never once letting Hannah leave my side as she slept on me all night, holding her all day and enjoying the truffles, tea and food all prepared for me while watching the news and TLC - things I do not quite have the time for at home.

Leaving the hospital was an amazing experience. The last time I left, with Riah's birth, I felt robbed. I will tell her story one day. This time I felt deposited. However, I will say these last few things. From the time we arrived at the hospital to the time I had Hannah was only an hour. I am so thankful I did not come earlier because pain is not something, we has humans desire. The option to break down and have an epidural is much higher once you position yourself some place that has them. However, I have had three epidurals and I will tell you that they are amazing- if you get them, I do not judge you. For me, this was my goal and my prayer to God. " I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Also, my midwife reassured me and said natural labor is loud :)

Hannah, you have grown so much this year and have blessed us beyond words. I love watching you sit and in a high pitch tone try to say "hi" while rotating your wrist with true Miss America fashion. You slept with me for 3/4 of the year which I am so grateful for. You began to crawl in Michigan and developed calluses on your two big toes, you became sick on Christmas Eve and threw up where I prayed and prayed and rocked you over and over. You cruise everywhere and investigate everything by putting it in your mouth. One of your favorite digs is my purse. You enjoy emptying out its content and dumping it all over the kitchen floor.

You are in love with your brothers and sister. You wish you could play legos with them. You enjoy swinging, giving kisses, eating bananas, not a big fan of the ole' bread, frozen peas, applesauce, barley soup and for someone who sputtered and could hardly take a bottle at 9.5 months, you ended up being able to self feed yourself quite well at 10 months when you decided you had lost interested in me, your food source. To say I feel blessed is a " cliche" but I do not know how else to pen words that would describe this past year. I am humbled, "starstruck" , in awe and speechless that God would fulfill the desire in my heart for children and to be a mom. There is no greater joy than this. Happy 1 year old birthday my sweet Hannah Brielle Louise!

Thankful List

Today I am adding to my thankful list
21. A place to live
22. A mind at ease
23. packing with a purpose and destination in mind
24. new paint, new carpet new blinds
25. a secret room in the boy's new bedroom to play and imagine
26. God's mercy
27. a house with peaks and a porch
28. the search is over
29. a littig girl who woke up a little to early to eat and the opportunity to kiss her floofy, fine hair
30. a NEW day and Jesus' love for me.

You All Knew This Blog Was Coming :)

Wow, can I actually write this blog? After all of this time and tears and worrying and trusting and then worrying again. I feel like this blog is so surreal, like I shouldn't be writing it, not yet, not until we are physically moved into our new location. Yet, I will because I need to give God the glory.

As you all now the emotional roller coaster we have rolled ourselves up and down on for the past couple of years just figuring out what to do with our home. It's over, Praise God it's over! We transitioned our thought process from buying to renting after much time and hours spent with our realtor. After hundreds of houses screened, and probably close to 50 houses viewed and 2 unsuccessful offers made we realized maybe this is not the direction God is desiring for us at this moment. Sooo, letting go of my need and desire to feel "instant" stability in a much larger home relinquished and Ben and I just prayed, " God, if you want us to rent, that's fine. Please take us out of the renting rat race, the competition, I don't think we can handle much more. Please God, just give us atleast 1400 sq ft so I can hopefully have  school area and a decent location. In Your name Amen".

At one of our lowest points we were searching a rental site and found this house, funny it resembled the house that I wanted more than anything in the beginning, the house that would have had AWESOME neighbors ( you know who you are). It had come on the market just that previous day. I called the property management company ( armed in my possession a " check list" of what to ask for to ensure our 'representation'). They said, I can't meet for the next couple days, I said, " I can only meet today" They made it work.

Ben had taken the boys to see Cars 2 and spent the afternoon with them enjoying some much needed Daddy time after us being gone so long.  I had the girls, we prayed. I drove through the previous neighborhood that I for sure thought our rental was going to work out and didn't notice any apparent rental signs, jumped on the highway and drove to this new neighborhood.

We drove in and Riah goes, " This is my neighborhood, I like this neighborhood". I'm thinking, well that's a positive sign. It was a very cute neighborhood, very midwest feel but newer. I met the girl at the door, the house has a front porch and a peak! Two things I so desperately wanted in my permanent home. We walked in oh wow, two living spaces! Score, one can be a school room! Three large bedrooms- ok, how do we sign the application and get this moving? I literally looked at the house for 1.5 minutes. The girl told me the investor just closed on the house the previous day, I was the first to look through it and here was my application.

I sat in the car, filling out as much as I could, faxed it over and waited until Monday. I called on Monday and the property manager said that she recommended our application and was waiting on owner approval. So we waited but felt encouraged. Yesterday, we received a phone call. Apparently I wrote down the "wrong" amount on the application but the owner approved MY monthly rate over hers!!! I know that was God. I did not even mean to write the wrong amount down and yet rushing through the application it was like totally Holy Spirit driven. THEN! because it had been a foreclosure and just closed on I stated that it needed to be cleaned, carpeted, painted and all new window coverings ( kind of a tall request I felt). The owner approved every last request! Things that we would have had to put money into a home that we were buying are now being done for us without our added expense!!! Praise God!!!! Also, at the rate we are paying most of the homes we were looking at were between 1200-1600 sq feet.....ours is 2100!!!!!!! Never, EVER before in our lives have we had this much room, EVER! Our first apartment was 795 sq ft, our second 900, our 3rd 1000 sq ft and now our home is 1100- to us it feels like a mansion!!!

To say we feel blessed with this temporary home is an understatement- I am crying with tears of relief that this journey is over. I am ok with it being a rental, that give us time to just get out of "mls" world and set up my school room and live life for a little bit. This burden is lifted and I am so thankful, thankful to have this opportunity in a safe location. I can't explain why God allowed every experience to happen to us- I think in the end of my life it will make sense,  because I could have handled without much of it. However, the answered prayers of God literally seeing we were at the end of our rope emotionally and Him moving through this was such ease with many simple "yes"s is just humbling.

I emailed our wonderful realtor  on Monday which probably sounded more like an insanity letter stating that I couldn't do "it" anymore, looking at homes. My brain could not handle short sales, loan modifications, refinance, traditional sale, foreclosures, auctions, etc. any more. We needed a break from looking and prayed God would provide a rental. She emailed me back, in short, with such a sweet email and that she would be ready for us when we were. We are so thankful. Thankful for God for providing this temporary relief, thankful for people that He put in our lives to help us and guide us through this process. Thankful for family and friends that spent countless hours praying- this is part of our testimony. Life, will not EVER  ( let me just say EVER from now on) look how we planned it to look or even think, but I am slowly learning that as long as I cling to God's strong hand, I will make it. Praise you God, thank you God with tears welling up in my eyes and gratitude overflowing from my heart, thank you for providing a place for my family. Thank you!!!!