Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Family time

    I cringe at blogging now, due to the fact that I type everything with one hand( kinda takes the fun out of it).Yet, its been a year since my last post and this past week has been so amazing. WE ventured up north as a single unit family, I organized, packed, planned all the meals 90% of the trip.Ben did 100% of the driving, which included owe 1000 miles-so great job baby!
      We accomplished milestones as a family that were told to us-would never happen. Charging up the steep 300ft accent at Lennox Crater, praising God in my heart-was the most amazing feeling. Improvising applesauce and popcorn for breakfast because I planned the meals so well-and we were running out of food, was another great feeling.
       Listening to Jay talk about "those teens", Zeke slipping off the side of a ledge- doing somersaults, lovely makeshift gas station coffee when my beloved Starbucks was 50+ miles away. Ben and his energy drinks, the ideology that Ben and his siblings were "angels" on road trips.
        Laughing as a family, moving beyond survival and living as an independent family unit. I woke up on night at midnight with the bed  shaking because Ben was laughing so hard at the replaying of Zeke falling and Jay stating how I could  get into the national parks free due to my "permanent disability"-thank you Jay but save my dignity 'I'll pay the $5!
   My freak outs at the Grand Canyon as I envisioned my precious little friends careening off the sides of the canyon. The overstimulation of the hordes of Asians and Hannah wanting me to play" I spy with my own little eye"-I'm like chica I can barley keep track of you and Zeke darting like wild antelope around me. I am not playing eye spy or simon says or anything else that will distract me from getting us out of here in tact. Ben grumbling about all the selfie sticks( I'm ready to grab those and chuck them into the canyon ) and being upset that our 11 year olds pics of us were less than adequate- Haha- family if your reading this get him a selfie stick for Christmas :)
   Three years ago, i was still in the hospital- still a fall risk , unable to concentrate on anyone or anything for an extended period of time, two years ago in full time therapy daily trips into Phoenix -one of my lowest point. Last year, still in therapy :(Yet I did it all to fight back to my role as a wife and mama to the most amazing six people in my life! I never felt do much despair and depression in my life than I have over the past three years. Yet this past week was God's reminder if he calls you to it, He will call you through it. I am reminded of a song by Jesus Culture"rooftops"The truth is, I should be wheel chair bound, no unsupervised time with my kids, unable to plan a vacation, divorced. That was the future we were looking at.. but God!I fought, Ben fought, Krista fought and millions of others through prayer fought for us on our behalf.. so please, allow me to rejoice in God's goodness. is life perfect, ahem no, is God faithful yes.

       Our first day I had a list of all theses amazing "kid friendly "(friendly if your kids are mountain lions, mini hercules, not if you have  average run of the mill kids) hikes on was in a cave with an average year round temperature of 34 degrees, no problem our tribe of 7, with 90% of us under the age of 11, we arrived with sweatshirts, a flashlight, cameras in preparation for our adventure. As we arrived at the entrance a group was emerging with helmets, headlights and coats and Ben looked at me and I looked at him and decided we were a bit too over ambitious, so he took the boys into the icy cave with chalastophibic, low ceilings and I chased the little three up top -- while Hannah decided to throw a fit, and Zeke kept wanting to venture down- it was chaos. That is where my life is at right now, chaos, flexibility, tantrums, complaining, cries, etc. I am so thankful to  be here living this insane life with them.

     The beauty of this country is overwhelming Walnut Canyon, Sunset Cater, Petrified Forest,and the GRAnd Canyon.Ok, if i can figure out how to connect Ben's camera to the computer I will post some amazing pictures!
   I tried, I failed, ?I am terrible at technology-will update when Ben wakes up... pics to come.. this is my very long, bet attempt at one handed blogging-frustrating yes