Sunday, December 29, 2013

Presenting Amazing Austen and Genius Jayden...

     We had so much fun buying the kids Christmas presents this year,It was the first year that Ben and i did it together  and I am so thankful for my kids ' imaginations....In this day and age, its def, something that needs to be cultivated. With their gifts they both had asked for a magic kit with over 100 tricks in it and we were so excited to give it to them.They opened it and were jumping up and down with excitement They both have their own amazing black hats. Austen is the assistant, per Jayden and Riah is the apprentice. I love how they study the trick book and carry it everywhere , wowing us with their mind blowing tricks:)

    Today was an amazing day with them. I had 5 hours of unsupervised  time with the 3 oldest, we cleaned their bedrooms, played veterinarian.. thanks to my awesome mother in law who made an absolutely amazing doctor kit for the kids for Christmas, with felt band aids, stethoscopes, scrubs, doctor  ids, laminated rx forms, medical info forms.We had so much  fun pretending . Have I mentioned how much I love them??? We then went outsides and had a picnic, and a magic  show of course. It was a gorgeous 68.I read " Caps for Sale" and " Stone Soup" which my mil made felt props to go with both  of  them.. So much fun!!!!!We then  ended our time withhot cocoa in the living room watching Robin Hood together . Here are some life parenting lessons, I have thought about today:

1. If you are going to have hot cocoa fill the mug to overflowing with marshmallows
2. Look with bewilderment at your children's tricks, even if you know how its done
3. Hug them often
4. Be patient, they are still learning
5. Slow down and role play with them, they love it when you play with them
6. Cultivate their imaginations, don't rely on tablets , video games , get them way from the screen or limit them










Toddlers and Tiaras

        My three-year old is obsessed, nay I say consumed with "dress up " lately. If you stop over at any given moment she will be donning rubber boots, three tutus and asking if she looks like a princess. Yes, Hannah you do.. but princesses never toot and laugh about it at the table. Her sweet little nose is always dirty. Not sure why. I am in love with her high pitch singing of "hark the herald  angels sing" and her and ad-libbing when she doesn't know the words. Her hair is long and radiantly blonde( I pays a lot of money for that look), and bouncy. She has the sweetest disposition unlike the girls on the TLC show.Although, she can erupt  without a moments notice over wanting to wear a dress on a hike. Many times, she tries  to be helpful but it ends creating  more mess than needed. One time she wanted to hold the dust pan for me, and paraded right through the dirt pile spreading dirt everywhere. The other day, she was going to the bathroom with her rubber boots o as well as her tutus and I wish i had my camera right then. Sweetest thing ever.She always has a baby tucked in her tutu and enjoys being with child. Her prayers are lightning fast, high pitched and profound. I am so thankful for my Lou. Her love of life brings such joy to me.



Thursday, November 14, 2013

So Scared

    A year ago, i went into labor with Ezekiel Asher Benjamin. I was scared, terrified of how to care for an infant, when I could barely care for myself. This was the longest, hardest year of my life. I couldn't problem solve him do to the stroke. I cried myself to sleep most nights, with a screaming newborn next to me.I tried to nurse him,change him, dress him, support his neck with one arm. It was incredibly hard . I gave Krista more peep shows than she probably ever cared to see :)Just keeping it real. So many times, Ben and  I would question whether God cared or listened to us. I figured He creed nothing  about us. I felt alone, afraid and defeated, discouraged...and I had a new life to care for. I had no idea how to care for Zeke post stroke.
    In labor, I was afraid of getting the epidural due to my blood thinners, I didn't want any bleeding in my spine. So, I was going to try to do it natural, but my blood pressure started to get too high. I gave birth to a beautiful, smooshed, World changer amidst so much pain and fear. I stared at his little life, I couldn't believe that God preserved him through the whole stroke, through multiple x rays, morphine, mri, and ct scans, not able to walk, sit, hold my neck up, move my left arm. He was perfect, just like God's never ending love for me.
    God is close to there broken hearted. He proved himself so faithful through this past year, he helped me to nurse for six months. He also gave us Krista, who did more for all of us than I could ever repay. Most Mondays, we would get up early scrambling around to  get ready for speech therapy. I would pump for many many bottles for Zeke to drink while i was at therapy and six hour neuro psych testing.. Every second we would lay him down to try and get ready,make lunch for the other four and  he would wake up and cry. It tore my heart apart to constantly have to leave him for multiple therapies and I felt so alone.
I needed God's strength, yet I felt weak. Day after day, week after week. Looking back I can see God's grace, peace and strength. He truly never left us even in our darkest most despairing hour. I never imagined ending my family this way.Yet, even more i can never imagine my life without Christ and Ezekiel. They both have forever impacted my life in life changing ways. . Never will I leave you nor nor for sake you. Ezekiel means " Jehovah will strengthen", not may  or possibly..but WILL!!!!

      I cried out to God to help us, he gave us Krista who started getting up with Zeke once i started CTN just so I could get a complete night's sleep for a day of therapy the next.I cannot sugar coat this past year it was difficult, lonely and terrifying..yet, my faith in God is so deep.I did not look forward to my pregnancy for the majority . Now I am head over heels in love with my little walker, his beautiful smile and laugh, his peacemaker's heart , his wavy  blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes. Yes, God carried us through this past year, Ezekiel I love you so much, I am thankful for your life. You bless me, your babbles are beautiful .






Thursday, September 5, 2013

Pudgy Feet, Tousled Hair

   





I love the way Hanns walks silently down the stairs after her nap, two fingers in her mouth; blanket swung over her shoulder a sweet smile on her face. I just want to remember her sweet personality. When my cab comes in the morning, she calls it my "tattoo"(therapy). Last Saturday, I was just waking up from a nap and so was she ..instead of going downstairs she raids the game closet and quietly knocks on my door and asks  me, pulling her fingers out of her mouth, if I will play a game with her???Absolutely!I live for these moments.I am thankful, i am alive for these moments. They are precious!    
      So, we sat down  on the floor and I teach her about turn taking, being selfless, following rules, all while having fun.I love my role as a mama !!!!
  I kiss her soft, tousled hair and it smells so sweet, and hug her little bod, thanking God for the opportunity and privilege to raise her.Everywhere she goes she sings bible songs...she is constantly requesting it. "Twoseys,twoseys".
    Tonight, we played orphanage with all the girls' dolls and pets and comforted our crying babies, read them the bible, gave kisses.
   
Yes,I am gone all day but when I a home,I am present for the life that I have been blessed with.Girls, your Mama is a fighter, her strength comes from God, yes the journey is long, but I breathe in and out fighting to return to you. Never question my love for you, it is deep, never ending, I've gone to hell and back for you...I will not give up, by God's grace I will not stop  smelling your sweet, tousled blonde hair, pudgy toddler feet, and teaching you how to care and comfort your future families .

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

How to Make the Most of Long Car rides?

        I am someone who cannot stand doing sitting and doing nothing...So, I look for ways to enrich my life in any way I can, by way of...audio books!!! I take a cab into CTN everyday with  a 40 min. car ride to and from with the Paul, my driver who is an aspiring pastor( no joke) and listens to sermons the entire way.I  have discovered the Phoenix Electronic library , and I now pass the time with my headphones in  and go on many different adventures . Right now, I am listening to The Magicians Nephew, A Christmas Carol, The Tale of Desperaux, MrPopper's penguins,A Secret Garden....I am loving it with all my homework through my rehab program.. I don't have time to read classics...so I listen now
        I sit and watch people talk on their cell phones, pick their noses(when they think  no one is looking ), I smile smugly to myself at the horror they would feel if the knew that I sat silently in the next car over observing their secretive habit, hidden obscurely behind a black veil of tinted windows , with my headphones on , seemingly unengaged with the world around me. Yet, I am keenly aware of the world that surrounds me as I travel down the highway at rush hour .  After three months of traveling via cab, I have only  recently come to realize the enjoyment of an electronic library ...I finished Sign of the Beaver last week!!!!So by the time I'm done with this program next year, who knows  how many books I'll have"read", or noses I watched picked??Time will tell, it's how i keep life interesting :)

Monday, August 5, 2013

New Experiences Can Sometimes Hurt

 

Tonight,I made lunches for three of my kids for their first day of school tomorrow.My heart hurts, badly .I know they will have a  great day...my heart will be breaking  . I will miss them, like I do each and every day.Ye,t I know they will learn, flourish, make new friends  and have  great year. I love them so much.It's hard to believe the 3/5 of my kids are now in full time school age. People who don't home educate, have no clue the joy found in having your children home with you. The time is precious...I wrote them each a note with some cute little jokes on the back..I miss them already and cannot wait to hear all about their great day,but wow, life can really hurt.I pray that someday my mourning will turn into rejoicing with tears of joy at all that God has restored to our family...I know he is working!Just like the Israelites when they were stuck up against the Red Sea with no place to turn...BUT GOD...He always come through...never in a million years would I have believed you if could have told me what the past 14.5 months of our life would have consisted of. I feel like i keep getting pushed back , yet iI stand up and fight harder.. for what was stolen from me, my family.Yet, the tears never stop falling, sometimes.I feel my eyes are like windshields in a hurricane, where I can see not more the one inch in front of me, yet, I keep driving because I know home is near.I love you Jayden,Austen, and Moriah..I a, so sorryMama's recovery is taking so long...I a so blessed to be your Mama. I need nothing more in life...except to be a fully restored family.Please keep praying.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Memories From Today





*Dancing on bubble wrap with the kids in the garage and laughing
*coloring with glitter chalk in the cool of  the morning
*Eating popcorn,playing many games Jayden and Austen messing up Clue(so funny)  with the boys while we have our unsupervised time together
* watching hundreds of bubbles float out of a bubble maker, watching the kids running and screeching and smiling after each other in the driveway (Hannah's dirty, black feet)
*making a canned snowman with the boys during my speech therapy home visit
*turkey burgers on a tablecloth in the living room, watching Cinderella
*Asking Hannah how old she is
Me:" Are you three?"
Hanns: "Um, I not three anymore."


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Summer Fun!

What comes to mind when you think of summer time  treats?Poppsicles, tart lemonade pie,peanut butter pie, or how about snow cones?! Ice cold goodness, sweet , flavorful and colorful. During these hot summer evenings post dinner we have been making snow cones with my pampered chef shaved ice maker. The recipe is super simple:


1c water
2csugar...we used one
 4tsp koolaid

Bring water and sugar to a boil, remove from heat , then add kool aid , cool in cute glass containers until ready for dessert,


The kids love taking turns , turning their ice into shreds..it us such a sweet refreshing dessert that is really cheap and easy   to  make.


This  summer Aunt Krista has also constructed an elaborate tape highway on the ground of our dining room. The kids imagined for hours with their barn, airport and Legos. Also, we have been busy over here in the Ippel  home this summer making homemade play dough with kids and an instant bakery was constructed. I love their active imaginations!Reading stories, watching afv together and movies, the aquatic center is a blast as well...yes, Santa we have stayed  busy this summer as the kids transition to their new school next week. I am excited or he things God will be doing in their hearts over his next year. I will miss home schooling them for  second year ,but I need to concentrate on therapy now so I can be the best wife nd Moama to them in the future. I know that this school is the tbest place for them this next year.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Take Time

 
photo credit
Take time to play, create. imagine, pretend, listen, encourage, love because life slips between our fingers like sand on a beach and you  cannot grasp it all...Your children need you present in their lives, focused, attentive. Playing barbies with them today translates to deep talks in their teens, listening to their latest victory on a star wars videos game translates to opening their heart when it is hurting.

    Being a mom is so beautiful, if we only take the time to enjoy, take in thew noise because someday it will be silent.I am thankful for my calling it is so much pressure am I good enough at setting a godly example ?answer no. Yet, through a lot of trial end error and failures I'm trying to find who God desires for me to be..hardest thing ever.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Happy Birthday Everyone!!!

Austen 7


love her shirt and expression


Jay is 9!





Riah 5




Patience Is Not For the Faint of Heart



   I have had to learn a lot about patience over the past fourteen months. Many times it's been incredibly hard to feel as  life is passing me by.Yet, God knows what he is doing and I need to trust him..his timing is better than mine ever will be. The three oldest start school in three weeks....I still can't believe it;,I  continue to pray that I can  be able to home school them again next year with the right tools to make our life more  efficient, well planned,organized. I cannot explain how terrible I feel sometimes when I leave them to go to therapy.I  miss them, their smiles, stories,laughter, screeches,jokes, everything I miss!

   I am convinced, the calling of wife and a mama is one of the  highest callings,I could have ever been given. I am so thankful for the opportunity to invest in my family .Just right now it doesn't look the same as it will.So, I wait patiently to return to being a full time stay at home mom. managing my home with ease.I want to be able to look back on my life with my family and say I gave it everything in me to be a good example ,not perfect....then,my life will have so much fulfillment .I fought hard and long for this family.I love my husband and children so very much .Thy are the best parts of my life and I am so blessed.I do not think I will ever say I wish i did more with my life..I will say with confidence, I gave it my all even when it was hard. I love listening to the boys talk about their interests...even though, I can find myself having a hard time focusing when a detail about Luke Skywalker gets brought up thirty times In one conversation, I treasure their bed time kisses even Moriah's hard  ones where I need to brace myself for  a very firm smothering of five year old love, Ezekiel's  wet slobbery kisses,who needs a puppy when I have a baby who will put his bib in his mouth as a chew toy ?.?I sure as heck do not.

   I continue to put one foot in front of the other, not knowing what the future holds.. But I trust God's plans for me are good and he will  restore the years the locusts have destroyed ."JUst keep swimming, just keep swimming,swimming,swimming.."=Dory

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Scorpion and the Cricket-A Tale of friendship






   The rain fell hard yesterday.A beautiful sound of rain flooded the streets, thunder rolled in the distance.Early that morning, Riah had spotted a scorpion in our home , a huge fiasco of capturing it ensued...with Hannah screaming from the kitchen. once captured the scorpion was placed in glass bowl in the garage.Meanwhile later that night, a cricket was found in our home so we decided to capture thstand put it with the scorpion to give him a friend. Unfortunately, the scorpion was never taught proper friendship etiquette and immediately brought his stinger out to subdue the cricket .Yet, one sting was not enough to hold our faithful friend down.He got up, much to the amazement of the scorpion , and began chasing him energetically around the bowl(with even a handicap, he had a broken leg).this game of cat and mouse went  on for a lengthy 10 minutes. The kids all laughed at the scorpion with his stinger down running from a cricket. Then finally, the scorpion decided it was worn out and hungry so he slowly reached out and grabbed the cricket with his pincher and stung him once. Poor thing didn't' fare so well from that sting and then he set him. Much to the amazement of the kids, we had never seen how a scorpion eats before. So, the moral of the story is if you treat your friends with kindness , you will always have someone to play with. Unfortunately, the loner scorpion is one again all alone in his glass bowl, with no one and unable to escape.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Ezekiel-8months

    Ezekiel, you are crawling like a wild man,escaped from a prison, nothing  is off limits to you.I love watching you maneuver around the house.your smiles are contagious, you bring so much joy to my heart. I love you more than anything. how did I get to  be so blessed to end our family with  you ??You hate peas  and  carrots, mixed together and give a very mature disapproving face. Also, you love sweet potatoes,bananas, fruit and cheerios; l love going to get you when you wakeup from you naps and you are standing up  staring at the door with   your binkie in  your mouth. You have the  most beautiful blue eyes ever,  the sweetest round head , two razor sharp teeth that are  reminiscent of a toothless beaver. Some of your favorite toys are a pink princess wand with glitter and floating the day away in a flower raft....sorry, you have two older sisters, who love you passionately.I love this picture because you have tired old man eyes and more cheerios in your lap than  in your mouth...Your babbles are sweet music to my ears.I hope my short paragraphs of your life will be sufficient for you.I miss you so much as I go to therapy full time from a stroke that  tried to steal us from each other...but guess what?God won...we are both  still here and stronger for it..yes, recovery has been harder than I could ever explain...but you are worth it!Oh my "Zekie"I love you!!!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Family Update


An update Krista sent out a couple weeks ago that we wanted to post for those of you whose email addresses we didn't have, or who we haven't seen in person - 

Dear friends and family:

On behalf of our entire family, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your prayers and support throughout this past year following Amanda's stroke last May.  I cannot begin to express how much your support has meant to us.  Since moving here to help Ben and Amanda last summer, I have been continually amazed by each of you - by their support system and the people that God has strategically placed in their lives.  I have seen you be the body of Christ in a way that I have never seen the body function.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for walking this journey with us.  God has been good, he continues to show us his faithfulness, and he continually strengthens us through your support.     

Each one of you have walked alongside us at some point in this journey this past year, and although some of you are more up-to-date than others, we as a family wanted to take this opportunity to officially share a 'brief' (as brief as possible!!  :)) update with you regarding Amanda's recovery and our family's next steps.  For the past year, Amanda has been in extensive physical, occupational, and speech/cognitive therapy.  It has taken a significant amount of time and effort to find knowledgeable therapists who specialize in treating the specific areas that were affected by Amanda’s stroke.  In an effort to find the best quality treatment as possible, we have been attending therapy sessions at three different locations multiple times a week: Rehab Arizona, Banner Desert Outpatient Rehabilitation, and Arizona State University Speech and Hearing Clinic.  So many of you have helped out with childcare, transportation, meals, ETC. and we could not have made this schedule work without you.      

At the beginning of the year, Amanda had a significant amount of neurological testing to determine her progress and continued treatment recommendations.  Based on the results of her testing, her therapists recommended that she apply for a full-time comprehensive rehabilitation program.  In April, Amanda was accepted at the Center for Transitional Neurorehabilitation (CTN) at Barrow Neurological Institute.  Not only was she accepted to the program, but she received full government funding to cover this incredible expense.  These were both absolute answers to prayer, as we did not anticipate either her acceptance to the program, nor the resources to pay for it!  The last several weeks have consisted of extensive assessments at CTN; she formally began therapy last week with a nearly full-time schedule - Monday through Friday from 8-2.  Therapy will take place both at the rehab center and with therapists in our home, in order to help her return to the highest degree of independence.      

Most of you know how much homeschooling means to Ben and Amanda and how passionate they are about it.  This year has been difficult for Amanda as she has needed to redirect much of her time and energy toward her recovery.  As we began to move forward with applying to the rehab program at CTN, we also began praying for direction about the kids' schooling for the upcoming year.  

Within the last month, God has led us to a small, part-time Christian school  (I say He led us because the timing and the doors that have opened have been nothing short of incredible)!  The school is structured so that students attend three days a week and parents teach coordinating lesson plans on the other two home-instruction days.  As I'm sure most of you can imagine from knowing Amanda and her heart for homeschooling, she is thrilled about the possibility of the kids being in an environment where they feel comfortable and can continue learning while she is at therapy, yet where she can continue to be hands-on and actively involved in teaching them.     

Over the months, many of you have asked about ways in which you can continue providing support for Amanda and our family in this season.  As I said before, you have been the hands and feet of Jesus Christ, holding up our arms when we grow weary in the battle (Exodus 17:10-15), and we cannot say thank you enough.  As we've looked into payment and funding options for school, we have found out about a fantastic way for friends and family in Arizona to contribute to the kids’ school tuition through the donation of income tax dollars.  The cost of tuition has been rather daunting to consider, but Ben and Amanda firmly believe that this is where God has led them this year, and that He will provide, as He’s answered so many prayers along this journey.  We are so appreciative of the outpouring of support we have received over this past year, and simply wanted to share this opportunity in response to questions regarding continued progress, needs and prayer requests.     

As I'm not a long-term resident of AZ, I've had to spend a lot of time researching this so that I somewhat understand what I'm talking about!  Arizona has a tuition tax credit law that enables Arizona taxpayers to donate what they would otherwise pay in income taxes toward scholarships for students attending private schools.  In return, taxpayers are eligible to claim a dollar-for-dollar tax credit on their state income taxes - so in essence, all contributions toward the kids’ tuition are returned in full with your yearly tax return!  

Arizona law allows residents to receive a credit for donations up to a maximum of $517 for single taxpayers and up to $1034 for married persons filing jointly, or your state tax liability, whichever is less.  Donations can be made to Arizona Christian School Tuition Organization (ACSTO) with whom Hope Christian Academy partners; ACSTO is a non-profit organization that processes tax credit donations and provides scholarship awards to private school students.  Donations can be made by a one-time check or credit card payment, monthly credit card withdrawals, or by donating your current income tax withholdings through an agreement with your employer.  With a donation, Jayden, Austen, and/or Moriah's name(s) need to be included in recommendation to receive this scholarship funding (two student names can be recommended with each donation, or separate donations can be made in each student’s name).  All scholarships are awarded based on recommendations, family financial circumstances, and family applications.  (Moriah also qualifies for an additional Overflow Credit because she will be attending kindergarten, which allows friends and family to contribute an additional $514 [single] or $1028 [married]).   

If you feel led to support our family in this way this year, I have attached links from the ACSTO website that discuss in detail how donations work, ways to donate, Frequently Asked Questions, and donation/tax credit forms.  I would also love to answer any questions I am able to, or assist in the process in any way I can.      

On behalf of our entire family, thank you so much for joining and supporting us on this journey.     

Sincerely, 

Krista Ippel

Sunday, May 19, 2013

TOMORROW

 

How do I sum up the most painful year of my life? Yes, God did miraculous things, however the pain is ever present.

.    A  year ago today was my last "normal" day for of incredibly long time. There is no way I could have ever prepared for what were laid I had as half of my brain  died off due to an enormous blood clot.

      The struggles over the last year making beds, hanging clothes, change your diapers were only magnified by my completely incompetent left-hand. I have had hundreds of hours of therapy to regain about 80% of my left arm back.

      The feelings of being robbed over this past year are very strong. For the past 12 months I have struggled to regain all that was stolen from me. How do I explain, what it is like to not be able to walk, run after your kids hug them with two arms read stories to them. It is the most painful experience, I  could have ever had. My heart, was ripped out of my chest.
   
 The hardest part is, I still have so far to go.  that fact in and of itself is incredibly difficult, painful part of this healing process.

    If I had captured all the tears that that Ben and I have cried this past year, I believe it could have filled an ocean. I had no idea how much grieving would be involved throughout the healing process over this past year.

    A year, 365 days, of fighting and I'm tired. Have you ever read the story of someone's problems and thought to yourself "glad that's not me."? Well, it is me. I wish life was different. Yet this moment, with so much pain and uncertainty. I should start listing of what God has done.

1. Ezekiel
2. given me the ability to walk again with no cane or wheelchair
3. showers on my own
4. limited left arm movement
5. safe delivery
6.  new van
7. admission and funding into ctn
8. favor with des
9. great therapists
10. ability  to swallow food again
11.Krista living with us and homeschooling the kids for the year
12. running of 5K race with Jayden
13.  prayers of so many countless, friends, family, and strangers
14 and so many more

    So, as the day of my stroke anniversary approaches. I have so many mixed feelings and getting up,getting dressed, kissing my kids goodbye, and going to full day of therapy. I will never understand "why" on this side of heaven. I only pray that God will continue to restore every cognitive function, physical, facial expression, and family order back to me.
    My heart hurts because I feltI would at least be much further along. I understand I had a massive stroke, my heart still aches. Continually pray for me and my family. I'm thankful for who God has been to us during the storm I can say he has never left our side. And He is faithful.


   

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Happy birthday Jayden

Jayden is:imaginative, creative, sensitive,Kindhearted,loving. Responsible,and  thoughtful. These are a few of the adjectives I feel accurately describe my fun-loving almost a nine-year-old son.
.



   He stated tonight that eight a was one of his best years. The ironic thing about this is that my stroke took place the day after he turned eight. I am very thankful for my very sweet, optimistic son. You bless me more than I can even explain. Watching you grow is a blessing to me.You are such help .You love  God and it love for God inspires me every day. Watching you read your Bible diligently every morning encourages me.

     I can't imagine my life without you.  you will  be used for mightily  for God. I love watching your imitations of the various characters,listening to your jokes. I love I love your bright red, weathered  adventure hat. That adventure hat has gone with you on countless adventures, into the pool swimming, running on a grassy field, climbing trees, playing tag, and watching fireworks.


     Sometimes, I wish I could freeze you into stage that you are every now. Thank you for coming downstairs every night to say "I love you" and give me a kiss and sweet hug. My life, would be so boring  and empty without you.  I love hearing how you want to be the owner of the zoo, pet store, astronaut, and scientist. Your favorite subject is science. You love riding your bike with your red adventure hat  and cowboy handkerchief tied loosely around your neck swiftly around the square. You are always so thoughtful towards Austen, Riah, Hannah, and Ezekiel.
   
     I remember being  able to pick you up and Rock you back and forth and say  Oh my little baby oh by little baby…  wait your not a little baby ,your a big boy. Its hard to believe you will be taller than me in the next few years,you are funny.  In your free time, you enjoy creating legos. making forts, and playing lion detective, drawing comics,scheming new business strategies, playing with Austen.Where would our lives be without your sensitive touch???I ,love you, and i a, so thankful for the privilege to me your mama. You and your siblings and Dad are my biggest motivators to heal, I don'r know if you will always have a very sketchily wrapped present, but I will give it my best.I cannot believe that it is your birthday already again...I am thankful I can celebrate  another beautiful year with you. Jayden  I love you.