Patience Is Not For the Faint of Heart

   I have had to learn a lot about patience over the past fourteen months. Many times it's been incredibly hard to feel as  life is passing me by.Yet, God knows what he is doing and I need to trust him..his timing is better than mine ever will be. The three oldest start school in three weeks....I still can't believe it;,I  continue to pray that I can  be able to home school them again next year with the right tools to make our life more  efficient, well planned,organized. I cannot explain how terrible I feel sometimes when I leave them to go to therapy.I  miss them, their smiles, stories,laughter, screeches,jokes, everything I miss!

   I am convinced, the calling of wife and a mama is one of the  highest callings,I could have ever been given. I am so thankful for the opportunity to invest in my family .Just right now it doesn't look the same as it will.So, I wait patiently to return to being a full time stay at home mom. managing my home with ease.I want to be able to look back on my life with my family and say I gave it everything in me to be a good example ,not perfect....then,my life will have so much fulfillment .I fought hard and long for this family.I love my husband and children so very much .Thy are the best parts of my life and I am so blessed.I do not think I will ever say I wish i did more with my life..I will say with confidence, I gave it my all even when it was hard. I love listening to the boys talk about their interests...even though, I can find myself having a hard time focusing when a detail about Luke Skywalker gets brought up thirty times In one conversation, I treasure their bed time kisses even Moriah's hard  ones where I need to brace myself for  a very firm smothering of five year old love, Ezekiel's  wet slobbery kisses,who needs a puppy when I have a baby who will put his bib in his mouth as a chew toy ?.?I sure as heck do not.

   I continue to put one foot in front of the other, not knowing what the future holds.. But I trust God's plans for me are good and he will  restore the years the locusts have destroyed ."JUst keep swimming, just keep swimming,swimming,swimming.."=Dory