Wednesday, November 25, 2009

My son, the pastor

Last night was the most precious night that I've had in awhile. It started off earlier that morning. Jay had crawled into bed with Ben and I and started crying...he said, " please pray, please pray I just had a dream of a dragon in the bathroom and I am scared." So I started to pray, asking God for peace for Jayden, a comfort, etc.

Later that night, we were all getting ready for bed and Jay started crying and asking me to pray again as he was scared. I just felt the Holy Spirit come upon me and got out the bible. I started sharing with him who satan was and what he has set out to try to do, etc. Jayden asked what the real satan looked I went on to share what the Bible has to say about him. How he is a father of lies, how he tries to scare us, make us think he is powerful, etc. Well then, we began to talk about heaven and hell and he just started sobbing. The most heart wrenching sobs. He cried out, " Did Great Grandpa know Jesus??" and I said, " Oh yes honey, he did...he is with Jesus now!" and then looks at me, tears streaming down his face, " Do you know Jesus?" " Yes! Jayden I do. I love him" Does Daddy know Jesus?" Yes he does and he loves Jesus too and asked him into his heart...." " But , what about Austen, he hasn't" and he just starts sobbing and he is walking down the bunk bed ladder and goes " Austen, do you want to ask Jesus into your heart, to live there?" and Austen said, " yes" and Jayden said, " I will tell you what to say, you just repeat after me" " Dear Jesus, I love you, please come live in my heart. I love you in Jesus name Amen"

There, right in their precious bedroom one son asked Jesus into his life while the other led him to the Lord. Isn't this what life is about???! Isn't this what parenting is for. These children are not our own, they are Gods. God is the one who has formed them, created them for His own will. We, as children of God, can choose to follow that will or do our own thing but we were created to praise and worship him and to share with the world about His coming, love and salvation.

Jayden started crying again about being scared and I just kept praying over him, " You are a strong man of God, you are destined for greatness. You are called to a purpose of authority over satan. You will use the sword of the spirit to strike down the enemy. You have power over him because of Christ who lives in you!" and he said, with tears, " I don't feel very strong" and I just start crying as my heart is breaking at his purity, honesty and vunerability. I said, " Do you remember Gidieon in the bible?? He didnt feel strong either, he didn't feel brave either but what did God say, ' Be strong and courageous'". God fought for Gideon. What a precious, precious moment in the lives and hearts of both of my boys. This is my story, this is my heart.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tea Time

I was inspired by my friend Cheryl's post, Moms In Need of Mercy, as she talked about the idea of tea time and allowing time to just rejuvinate. I am taking up this challenge and incorporating tea time, after nap time and quiet times with my babies. I think this is a wonderful idea and a fun way to just usher in the late afternoon/early evening hours prior to dinner. I do not really have an acquired taste for tea, but this must change. I will keep trying the raspberry zinger. Hahaha. I do not even have a cool tea kettle or tea cups but this must change as well. I am creating some food for my daughter for Christmas, that are all related to tea time. I will post when I am finished....maybe if I get good enough I'll put it on etsy.

I love this idea of tea time...if only it wasn't 9:00pm and my house was a disaster I too would settle in for a nice cup of tea.....a few sips here and there and who knows, maybe I'll look one day and actually be loving the taste. I know my sister in law impresses me with her taste for tea......

Tea Time....I love it! I will look up some recipes for sconces, biscotti, or muffins and post what I have found..... How fun is this!


Yesterday we accomplished much, to my amazement. I feel the key to my homeschool success is not putting on a movie first thing in the morning....and believe me, it is so easy to do. I, most mornings, prefer to wake up slowly and quietly reading the bible while the boys watch a movie. However, this routine needs a little tweaking. Yesterday, Jayden was the first up and I decieded, at 6am to get started on his math. We went through 4 lessons! Then we went on to his SSRW and completed step 11. At this point, Austen was now up and we started on geography. This has got to be my favorite part of school as I have an intense passion for geography and history. My Grandpa used to sit us on his lap and spin the globe showing us where we lived, how he hitch hiked across the US, and all the grand adventures he had growing up. I truly believe that is where my love for the world began.

We are studying Egypt this week....but after further anaylysis there is so much biblical history associated with Egypt that this will probably take us a few weeks. We created our Egyptian flag, made a picture of stamps and told a story ( hieroglyps) and I read about the Israelties crossing the Red Sea. How exciting to show the boys that the same Red Sea that is in the bible, that Moses and the Israelites crossed is located on the globe. We talked about faith, how Moses told the Israelties that " The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be silent". I love that verse in Exodus!

There are so many faith walks in life yet if you are able to relinquish all control and allow God to move in your heart and in your life, knowing He is fighting for amazing is that! I loved the opportunity to pour out my heart to the boys and share with them the persecution of the Christians in Egypt. We prayed for them, layed our hands ( fingers) on Egypt and prayed that God would send protection to them and care for them, giving them boldness.

Today, at the library, I picked up a bunch of books on Egypt, Egyptian food, etc for our party at the end of this unit. I had such grand ideas for fall/Thanksgiving unit for the month of November but will have to wait until next year as the month has literally slipped away from me. Overall, I felt very accomplished at the end of the day....mix that in with Thomas the Train, pretending and laughter and it was a great day!

Friday, November 13, 2009

How do you Explain the Unknown to A Child?

Today Jayden was doing school at the table and I was working along side of him, helping him w/ his drawing as well as mopping up a sticky floor that had been doused with sugar falling out of the pantry. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said, " Momma will you die when I am still a kid?" What a heartbreaking question! I said, " Jayden, I want to be here and watch you grow for many, many years and I plan on being apart of your life for a long time." Then he asks, " But will would happen to me if I was a kid and you would die?" I said, " Jay, Daddy would take care of you."
" But what would happen if Daddy and you both died?" He is now sobbing at this point. " Baby, then Grandma and Grandpa or Nana and Papa would take care of you. You would never be alone."

" But then, what would I do when I got there?"
" Got where?"
" At the airport?"-sobbing
" Honey! you would never fly by yourself. If something happened to both Momma and Daddy Grandma and Grandpa and Nana and Papa would be here in a second taking care of you. You would never, ever be alone"

What a heartbreaking conversation to have with my buddy. I kept quoting scripture how no matter what happens to us on earth, your heavenly Father will always provide, protect and care for you. How hard not to be able to promise my precious son that I will always be here. I dont' know, but I do know that God will. He will never leave you nor forsake you. "Peace I give you, My peace I leave you, not as the world gives but as I give so do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid"

God , I ask that I will be able to watch my babies grow up and mature but God if I am ever taken before that please let them know that I love them, will always love them and that you will never forsake them. Make yourself real to Jayden, Austen and Moriah. Show yourself faithful to them, for you are faithful.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Frusterating times at the Playground

What a beautiful , cloudy warm day. We enjoyed a very productive day of school and some wonderful time with friends at the park. I do have to say though, why is it that my son Jayden always seems to be singled out for exclusion?? I can't think of anything more frusterating and angering to me than this. Today, at the park we came to play, to enjoy time with friends. Jayden and Austen were playing with a huge group of kids and appearing to have a good time. Then, upon closer inspection there was some friction occuring. Me, being the very Momma Bear that I am and observant of what is going on head over to inspect. As I arrive some child is declaring that " All kids 6 and under are not part of the club and are excluded" . Excuse me, did someone stop and ask you to be the all performing club president of the park? That would mean that both my boys could not "play" or be apart of what they were doing. The lovely child was very adamant stating, " I dont' trust them...." Did I ask you if I cared if you trusted them, brother they just want to play tag, not be apart of your "club". I could not believe my ears. I do not think that just because a child is homeschooled means that he will be kind but this was unbelievable. How unkind and rude can you be?!

I feel that Jayden is faced with these types of situations over and over. Maybe I feel the way I do because I was faced with them over and over as a child and now being on the other side, in the sense that I could careless about being included/excluded from anything or nothing, I feel very passionate about protecting my child. Jayden has the sweetest, purest heart out there. Do I think he is perfect, absolutely not but he does know how to treat someone with kindness.

Sometimes I get so angry that this happens to him over and over. I feel, at times, that God is really building character in him and working him through this to give him so much empathy and understanding to the underdog. As a parent, however, this is very hard to watch. In all honesty, if I could I would set aside my personality and beat anyone that tried to mess with my child. That is how strongly I feel about protecting my children. Now you can go with what I said and run with it, but hear me out what parent wants to see their child hurt and would do anything to protect them? Show me! I am not a violent person nor do I advocate violence but if just once I could say everything that I was feeling/thinking in that very moment of seeing the crushed look on my son's face than maybe I would feel better...if not for a moment.

I believe that God calls us, however, to a higher standard. I can't pummel every child that tries to exclude my child. That would not only advocate violence but is not who I am. I can, however, teach MY children how to treat others, how to include, encourage and defend the underdog. I said to Jay tonight, " You know bud, there will always be kids that don't know how to treat others, or how to be kind but we can still be kind back, we can still show God's love. That doesn't mean that we are doormats and let someone walk over us but we will not return evil for evil or insult for insult"

In the meantime, I will always advocate for my children, they are mine and I was born a Momma Bear, that I will never change.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The starting of a children's book.....would love to submit someday....

Where Is The Cookie Moon?

Momma where is the cookie moon? I can't see it.
Is it behind the dark, thick clouds?
Is it behind the sleepy, still tree?
Is it behind the Strong, Stoic Mountains?
I can't see it?

Where is the cookie moon Momma?
I need to see it. I need to follow it with my eyes, I need to watch it follow me as I move in the car, I need to see it as I stand outside in the darkness.

Momma, where is the cookie moon? Can I eat it? What does it taste like? Will it always be round? Will it always be yellow? Will it always be there?

Momma, where is the cookie moon? I can't see it.

My child, the cookie moon is in the sky, sometimes it plays hide and go seek, sometimes it shows its large face for all to see. That is the cookie moon; it is beautiful but not dependable.

Me, my child, will always be here. I am not like the cookie moon. I do not play hide and go seek where you have to look for me, I do not make you wonder where I am or if I will be around. I will not hide behind the dark, thick clouds, I will not hide behind the sleepy, still trees, and I will not hide behind the strong, stoic mountains.

I am here, right here. When you wake up in the middle of the night after a bad dream, I am here. When you feel scared and alone I am here. When you need a kiss after being in bed, I will be here. I, my child, will help you look for the cookie moon but the cookie moon will never have to help you look for me.
Today we had a very successful day of school. Jayden is doing amazing with his math. I had to do something and asked him to get started on some concepts on his worksheet. He said, "Momma, what letter is at the end of you?" " u Jayden" then he turns his paper around and showed me what he had written, a smiley face with the words " I lov you" That was the most precious thing he could have ever done to touch my heart. I love him so much. Austen worked on his states puzzle and is getting so good at finding where all the states go and who they are next to. Overall, it was a pretty calm and relaxing day. Each day we pray for peace, a diligent heart, wisdom and grace. Today I could definetly tell that all of those were being put into place.

We came back on our flight from out of state a few days ago. It was a great flight except for Moriah and her crazy wiggly body. The boys did amazing. We have not used DVD players on the flights for quite some time and the boys do great without them. They read stories, ate plenty of non sugary snacks and listened to their books on cd, courtesy of the library. As we left quite late at night, the kids slept for the majority of the flight.

Austen was hillarious in the airport. Watching him was like watching a small version of a business man rolling his carryon around. He had a hat on, with hair sticking out the back, pulling his Thomas the Train carryon and a black jacket over his jeans. He knew exactly where he was going and it was so precious! I just love that boy.

Tonight, Austen came to Ben and I and said, " Tomorrow after Milo ( Jayden) and Joyson's ( Austen) naps can we play the ocean game? " They crack me up. Everywhere we go lately they are meowing and pretending to be cats. They talk in high pitched voices and argue over if something is a boy or a geel ( girl). Precious , precious friends they are.

We are onto the Yellowhouse Mystery for Boxcar Children and are really enjoying the book. I went out and bought all the ingredients that go along with the story, as I have the cookbook, so we can make the food that they eat as we read it. The days just fly and sometimes I'm not sure if they can ever slow down but I love embracing this time with my babies, as they will always be my babies.

Last night, Jayden came into my room over and over and I was getting really frusterated with him. Then the last time, I was playing some Kari Jobe, some of my favorite worship music, and I just felt the desire to pray over Jayden. He wrapped his arms around me and we rocked back and forth and I prayed for him. A prayer of music over his life, annointing over his voice, his fingers. It was a precious moment where I felt the Holy Spirit just fill the room and touch Jayden as well as myself.

Children are a precious gift from God. Being a mother is the most beautiful job that one could ever have. NEver take it for granted. There a lot of women out there who mother children, but there are not a lot of women who are Mommas and nurture them. Challenge yourself to view your position as one of influence, full of passion and grace.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


We have been on our family vacation, minus Daddy, for the past two weeks. It has been a very interesting trip so far. The first week and a half we were all sick. There is nothing more frusterating than coming from so far, spending so much money to see family that you don't see that often and being sick. The boys have done so well but have had some major meltdowns along the way. Moriah came down with bronchitis and an ear infection and me, a sinus infection. What can you do? Nothing.

I feel that there are so many times that I need to learn how to outwardly express patience and understanding in a much more active sense. We waited and waited amidst all the rashes, coughs, colds, throwing up and finally our day arrived. The son was shining, a beautiful 60 degrees and the leaves all turning different shades of yellow, red and orange around us.

We ventured outside, bundled up from head to toe and swung. We swung higher and higher, we laughed, we breathed the sweet scent of fall. I turned and watched my three world stand surrounded by an array of swirling, crisp fall leaves. They engulfed him and moved quickly around him. He ran and chased them desperately trying to catch them. I watched. I stood still. I absorbed the moment in my mind, in my heart and soul. It was a beautiful moment, Austen chasing leaves, the leaves moving never stopping only to fall just ahead of where Austen was. Isnt' that like life. Sometimes we lose the joy in the journey because we are chasing something that isnt ready to be caught. Sometimes, in life, it's fun to chase a dream to think about it and learn about it even when we know it is out of reach. Austen did and I watched and smiled and laughed. He is my joy.