Today Jayden was doing school at the table and I was working along side of him, helping him w/ his drawing as well as mopping up a sticky floor that had been doused with sugar falling out of the pantry. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said, " Momma will you die when I am still a kid?" What a heartbreaking question! I said, " Jayden, I want to be here and watch you grow for many, many years and I plan on being apart of your life for a long time." Then he asks, " But will would happen to me if I was a kid and you would die?" I said, " Jay, Daddy would take care of you."
" But what would happen if Daddy and you both died?" He is now sobbing at this point. " Baby, then Grandma and Grandpa or Nana and Papa would take care of you. You would never be alone."
" But then, what would I do when I got there?"
" Got where?"
" At the airport?"-sobbing
" Honey! you would never fly by yourself. If something happened to both Momma and Daddy Grandma and Grandpa and Nana and Papa would be here in a second taking care of you. You would never, ever be alone"
What a heartbreaking conversation to have with my buddy. I kept quoting scripture how no matter what happens to us on earth, your heavenly Father will always provide, protect and care for you. How hard not to be able to promise my precious son that I will always be here. I dont' know, but I do know that God will. He will never leave you nor forsake you. "Peace I give you, My peace I leave you, not as the world gives but as I give so do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid"
God , I ask that I will be able to watch my babies grow up and mature but God if I am ever taken before that please let them know that I love them, will always love them and that you will never forsake them. Make yourself real to Jayden, Austen and Moriah. Show yourself faithful to them, for you are faithful.