Something peaceful takes place when I begin rocking my sweet almost two month old..I begin to forget how my arm, does not work well. I fall into the peaceful cadence of the rocking chair.The same chair where I have had the privilege to rock five of my babies.
The chaos of our therapy schedule begins to diminish and I feel at peace. I was researching being pregnant and the clot buster, which was something they could not give me due to my 13week pregnancy .Only 20 in 100,000 pregnancies suffer strokes. So the research on giving a pregnant momma in her first trimester a clot buster to hopefully reverse the side effects to of the stroke ie. paralysis.is very minimal. The research. I found out of seven women who received the clot buster.....one ended up dying, two had ,miscarriages, two had therapeutic abortions and one went to to have a regular pregnancy .....so mine and Zeke's odds...we're not too good.
I would rather rock little Zeke in my arms...than have two working hands and no baby..I would rather marvel at the miracle..God in his sovereignty has blessed us with..then go a life time with no Zeke.. So we continue to rock and rock and I pray and pray and ask God for new grace in each day...
My learning curve with Zeke is huge ...but somehow. We'll make it. Yet, during those moments of rocking .. the world begins to feel less intimidating. I feel the love of the Father.....so we rock back and forth a smooth,quiet cadence that only him and I feel....and God heals and heals in only a way that he can,and I learn to trust and trusting his sovereign plan ...because he is trustworthy. Oh ,my little Zeke...I love you so much!I love your sweet,soft head and your horse like grunts. You are so precious to me..I am so thankful. You are here. Thank you, God for rocking moments and sweet rhythmic cadences in a very uncontrollable world.