Sleep Deprivation

 

For whatever reason, my dear Hannah seems to be the one who feels the need to eat two times a night and that's when she is feeling well. On Christmas Eve, she came down with a sudden fever and began throwing up around 10:30pm. She probably threw up for a solid hour and it broke my heart to see her flushed cheeks, burning hot head and body cry like that. After she had settled that part down I rocked her in the complete darkness and felt her sweaty, hot body relax in my arms. Wow, there is nothing that will ever be more rewarding than being able to calm and relax your child. I felt complete and scared for her all at the same time. I can handle the occasional cold and throw up however, with her being 5 months, that's just too small for me. So , I layed her down in her bassinet next to me and then around 1:30am she was awoken with constant coughing, so again, we went into the living room and rocked, back and forth, back and forth and fell asleep out there. Waking up with a complete neck spasm, stumble back to bed.......ah, yes, this has gone on for the past 4 nights- this past night being the best- and I mean that in a very positive way.

Hannah's fever has subsided, thank you Jesus and her cold is slowly dwindling. She is my cuddler, she has to feel me and then she'll sleep so peacefully. I don't mind this, at all when I CAN sleep....but my problem is, when I am woken up so much throughout the night I have a very difficult time falling back asleep- ie: a normal two hour gap invades my sleeping routine.

Two nights ago was the hardest, she was coughing so much, so congested, there was nothing I could give her and she just was up...so we rocked and we prayed and we cuddled and then we fell asleep. I woke up, walked to the bassinet, layed her down, fell back asleep and besides Austen asking if he could watch a movie, the kids fended for themselves on vitamins, water, saltine crackers, mint gum and the Aristocats. Who said kids need parents? Mine seem to manage just fine! I slept until 830 am and that was exactly what I needed to catch up on all the every 2 hour wake up calls due to my sick little Hanns.

It's crazy how when you become a parent, you don't "mind" getting up. Don't get me wrong, I ask Ben all the time when he is going to take me away on a secluded vacation with only him and I.....hopefully soon! But, when I think that a year ago tomorrow I almost lost my sweet little Hannah I would get up ever two hours for the rest of my life to comfort her in only the way a mama can, if I could just have her. I praise God she is feeling better, smiling and sucking on her fingers now with her temporary decongestant nose breathing in and out thanks to the blue bulb syringe.....but I wouldnt' trade my life for anything and someday I'll be able to sleep as long as I want- so for now, I will comfort.