Little did we know within 2 hours our lives would change within 10 seconds. Ben and I were hanging out and out of the blue my speech immediately became slurred and an intense pain soared from the nape of my neck upward and Ben was on the phone with 911 immediately: "Hi, yes I think my wife is having a stroke." I remember thinking, "this is silly, who has a stroke at 29?" The next thing I remember is Ben saying, "the ambulance is here." I have no memory of being put in a bag. Just them asking me over and over for my birthday and my due date. And them saying, "squeeze my hand." I had no idea I was paralyzed.
I felt an overwhelming sense of peace that I knew was the Holy Spirit. I do not remember much of the ambulance ride, just being immediately put into a CT machine and feeling God's presence.
The hardest part was not being able to reassure Ben. That part killed me. At one point thinking in my head, "I'm ready to go home now," and Ben leaning over me very upset, "Amanda! You can't walk!" "What do you mean I can't walk?!" This is news to me. I had no idea I was paralyzed. I am so thankful for the prayers. You all rock!
Every day I would wake up - "Okay, God, what are you giving me back today?"
I didn't know I lost my ability to swallow. That my whole left side was paralyzed. One day I had 3 MRIs, and just praying the whole time for God to protect our baby.
Each step of the way, He was the most faithful friend. The rally of love and support from all our friends and family...you ministered to us so much. Thank you thank you!
In Proverbs it says, "The steps of a man are established by the Lord and when he falls he will not be hurled headlong for the Lord is the one who holds his hand."
This verse means so much to me now, just trying to learn how to walk again. Huge challenge! Ben has to stay on my weak side (left side) because if I'm going to fall that is the side I will fall on. That is what God does for us, he stays on our weak side. His desire for us is success. I am so thankful for his faithfulness in this most challenging trial of my life.
My voice is still weak, but my arm is slowly coming back. God is so good! I look forward to being able to push my kids in the swing again soon!
This whole process has reminded me of a fighter. When I started rehab I had zero trunk support. I would flop over on the mat. It took 4 people to get me into a wheelchair.
Ephesians 6:13-18 "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."
Never will I leave you nor forsake you. He is faithful. I believe that to my core of who I am.
Each and every day God gives me back something that was taken from me in 10 seconds. And everyday He gives me something new back, even if it is just a movement in my fingers.
Mentally exhausting, every day is mentally exhausting. My stamina will come in the months ahead.
Please keep Ben in your prayers, he is juggling a lot right now.
To God be all the glory! Amen!