Back to "Normal"

I had my ultra sound yesterday and the baby is gone. This was no surprise to me but I am tired of mourning the loss of a child that no one knows, I hardly knew and yet leaves a gaping hole inside my heart. What is normal. Why, when I had my first miscarriage in May of 2007 did I have a feeling that this was a new precedent. I"m very hurt and feel very alone. The kids are awesome, letting me sleep with their stuffed animals, Ben is awesome and at the same time feeling a loss for me- its so different with guys. I can't pretend that this never happened; yet I wish it didn't. Somehow, I go on....and I figure out how to pick myself back up. Yet I feel there is still a missing part to my sentence. Not quite sure what is next.