Monday, January 3, 2011

Screams and Emotions

The other day, Moriah threw her hands over her eyes, buried her tears in her hands and let a soulful cry. As I watched her I became overwhelmed with emotions, why? because I understood. How many times, in my SHORT life, have I been so overwhelmed by something that I just cried or wanted to throw something? Life wasn't going her way, so she cried. This happens often in our home, sometimes there is a chorus of crying from a hungry cry, tired cry to an angry cry coming from three different directions. I can't always empathise with the crying because many of a times, it has to be dealt with. However, this particular time, I could understand how she was feeling. She wasn't tired or hurt she was frustrated and oh, how I understand!

Raising children has become a very humbling act, one that requires more patience, understanding, firmness and love. One thing that bothers me is when I feel people who have no kids have any right to feel they understand better than the one in the trenches. It's like the media making speculations about what  the men in the fox holes in the war should be doing. I pray daily about how to raise my children in a godly mirror image. That's hard. It's hard considering that I am just as sinful as the next person, just completely aware of my sin, which makes it ten times worse! So I am constantly asking God to change me and rearrange me, to give me his grace and patience. Moriah is  prime example of this. What a joy she is, what a fury of emotion and when her blonde hair bounces and flies it exhumes her personality.

Yesterday, she was wearing a white long sleeve shirt, striped sweater dress, striped gap tights and ruby red sparkly shoes with two 1/2 pig tails in her hair. That's Moriah, to the core....she blows in , she blows out, she runs in, she skips out. She bounces her dolls and animals up and down whispering, "shh,shh, shh" and comforts even the most ugly of dinosaurs. She is a nurturer by heart, loving on Hannah something fierce. She allows me to confront my own insecurities of being a "good " parent and lay it before God and say I'm only as good as you make me, so here I am. Wow, I love that girl- Her smile is amazing and her beautiful almond shaped blue eyes melt me daily. " You play with me? You read to me?" . And in her sweet little voice, closing her eyes, and swaying back and forth, with her hands lifted she sings " Sweep me away in your love, where 'noting' else matters"- She is a lover of the Father and wow, she makes him laugh. The other night, Ben finished praying and there was Moriah, two fingers pulling on opposite ends of her mouth, looking like a polka dotted monkey and standing there stone serious. How do you pull your mouth into a monkey contortion and not break down laughing about it? Because, she is my Moriah.

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