Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Romans 14:19 and other feminist ramblings
" So let us pursue the things which make for peace, and the building up of one another"- Rom. 14:19. This has been the verse we have been working on as a family that coincides with our cooperation study of Konos. The funny thing is- when we are confronted with this verse, so are we confronted with our effort or lack thereof of cooperation. My prayer is that my children grow up with a deep love for the Lord as well as a love for family. I have to say, 90% of the time my kids play wonderfully together, they share, are selfless, etc. It's the 10% of the time that makes me continually pray and ask God how to teach and train them. It's the 10% of the time, that I find myself asking God for more patience and wisdom than I know I personally possess. I was called a "saint" yesterday at my fitness center after I put a bloody murder, screaming toddler into her car seat while remaining calm and level headed- Saint no, holy spirit filled yes- that patience and calm is from the Holy Spirit- never myself otherwise the muscles in my neck would have felt relaxed, not tight as a tension filled rubber band.
I read a book, a total feminist book, entitled " The Feminine Mistake" . I borrowed it from the library thinking it was a book in defense of the nuclear family. Yeah, not even close. Instead the author exhorts moms who pay for nannies, go back to work full time and use their brains for something more sensible. i'm sorry, last time I checked EVERY neuron on my brain was connecting at warp speed to constantly manage, create and maintain the learning, functioning and multi level environment I call my family.
I had to laugh, she has a chapter stated, " The 15 year paradigm" where a stressed out friend, whose husband worked on teh west coast, she on the east and their 3 and 5 year olds were being taken care of by a nanny asked the author if she should cut back and work part time to help pick up the slack of their family. The author stated that this would be a very grave mistake and that it is what she calls the 15 year paradigm. That if mothers can just make it through the 15 years with their children, with their full time career intact , then when their children are high school age, because Lord knows NO high schooler needs their parents, they will stay have their career going and will not have "wasted" that precious time at home. Can I strangle this hypocritical and ignorant woman!
Last I checked, being a mama, NEVER ENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, how hypocritical can you be? ! To state that moms are wasting precious resources and brain power staying at home....YET you will go to GREAT lengths to find the most qualified and high priced nanny or day care for your children. Now tell me, do you consider those nannies who care for, cuddle, and enrich your children's lives brain dead or under qualified? Because if so, you are the fool who is wasting your money and putting your child into dangers way. No, you took the time to interview and strategically select that person to care for your child in your absence.
However, I guarantee you there is NO ONE OUT THERE who will love your tantrum throwing toddler, your vomiting preschooler, your constant knowledge sharing 6 year old or your feverish baby the way YOU will. I could careless how many people state, " I will love them like my own" WRONG! They will love them, yes, but NEVER like their own- they are not their own they are someone else's and, in the back of their head, that at the end of the day- someone else will go home with them.
You must understand, I was "institutionalized" at my university to believe that feminism has come too far to allow ourselves the stupidity of going back to staying at home. Yet, when I research and find statistical data of families and the lack thereof, the deteriorating of the nuclear family that started coming about in the 50s, 60s, etc I find broken relationships, displaced children, cold and fragmented lives that must live very independently from one another. No one has made me stay at home. PLEASE keep your pity party to yourself, this was a conscience choice that I have never once regretted. I treasure my time with my children, regardless of the good or bad day....please, you hypocritical feminists out there- do not EVER downplay the role I have in my children or families lives, do not EVER state that this role can be so stupid for the woman that not only cared for and carried her child for 9 months and gave birth to can be so easily payed off on a nanny.
I will defend the millions of HAPPY, WELL EDUCATED, WELL ADJUSTED stay at home mamas out there until the day I die. There is nothing wrong with a career....however, I passionately feel that if you and your husband, in a healthy relationship, decide to pursue a family that someone needs to be there for their children that is a loving parent. Money, is money- quality time can never be bought, it can never be stolen and will never be replaced. Get rid of your stuff- it doesn't impress us any ways, and love on your children, bake cupcakes or cookies with them, listen to them, play with them, and pray for them. Wow, I could go on and on with this subject, but I will save that for a later time.
A hardcore, former feminist.