Friday, September 23, 2011

A Penny and a Car

The other night when Austen crashed into the corner of the wall and received a huge bump and small gash on his forehead, my other son Jayden wanted to bless him. As Austen slept, Jayden snuck a penny under his pillow as a surprise for him when he awoke the next morning.

Jayden's entire thought process blessed me, his compassion, his heart and his love for Austen. Anyways, Austen was elated to find a penny under his pillow and carried it around with him all day yesterday and today. With his penny in his pocket, he looks up at me with his huge blue eyes and husky voice asking, " Momma, do you think we could go to the store today so I could buy something with my penny?" Now, you and I both know that there is nothing in the store that costs a penny. The days of "penny candy" washed away with poodle skirts. However, Austen doesn't know this and I hadn't the heart to break it to him that there would be no item priced at $.01.

So, with a humongous grocery list that spanned five stores in hand, the boys and I took off. Austen clutched his penny and his eyes danced with excitement at what he could possibly purchase, on his own. We collected the few groceries at Walmart that were on the "Walmart list" and headed to the toy aisle.

You need to understand something about my kids. They are not beggars and they look at the toys and talk about them in the sweetest sense that you want to buy the store for them, only you don't. Austen stood there, penny in one hand, clutched and viewing all the many toys that his eyes could behold. Quietly, peering.  The average price on a hot wheels car is $1.07 and just a fyi, these cars cost $0.98 five years ago. Anyways, he found the "perfect" car and asked if I could get it down for him.

I picked it off the hook, handed it to him and the smile on his face almost brought tears to my eyes. " C'mon Jay, let's go check out". We pulled into the checkout lane and as it was time to pay I said, " Austen, can you give the cashier your penny?" He hands her his penny with the most proud and satisfied look on his face. I pay the rest of the amount, over 100x, what he was able to pay, knowing full well he would never have been able to afford this without my help. We happily leave Walmart.

As I stepped out of the sliding doors the Holy Spirit spoke to me in a a way that brought me to instant tears, He said, " This is what I do for you, my daughter. You may only have a penny but I multiply it 100x....I am able to use your limited resources, trust me." This word was spoken so soft and gentle to my spirit, I said, with tears running down my cheeks, " Austen, hold my hand" and as he did, I saw me in him and God in me.

We may only have a penny to raise our children with, God will give us 100x over to provide for our children. We may only have a penny worth of emotional strength to make it through the day, God will take that penny's worth and multiply it in ways that are, in any other sense, impossible. " Nothing is impossible with God"

Life's been a little busy lately, dare I say even a little stressful, $400 electric bills don't help either. Maybe I've been lacking on the faith issue and maybe, just maybe, God knows my heart, insecurities and fears even better than I care to admit. So, God I give you my penny, it's all I have, I want to hang onto it because its valuable to me, but allow me to release my grip on it...,my son understood, he KNEW, that I would only give him good things, there was no fear about the cost of the car or how it would work out to purchase it. No. All I cared about was his joy and his face, so You look at my face and desire to fulfill me with you joy. Give me the faith and trust of a child. God, here is my penny. Released.

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