Friday, September 30, 2011


How do you describe what it feels to be loved by someone who faces your faults daily, who loves you despite being less than stellar. I created a slide show of my husband, yes my husband- filled with pictures of him and the kids and him and me. Where do the years go and how is it that you see your life on a slide show and the grace and hand of God is so evident it does nothing short of bringing you to a river a tears.

I cannot believe we have been together for 13.5 years and survived so much. Stronger. In love. Fighting. We are fighting for a calling higher than us, higher than we can understand. Ben understands me.....I cannot say that about too many people. I can freak out and cry and he is practical, logical and full of wisdom. How did God know I needed someone like him? To think that Ben was hand picked for me, and I for him, by God, is too much for my heart sometimes. My heart is heavy with love and admiration that God, in his infinite wisdom, would use Ben and I to perfect our love for eachother and in turn mirror that love of Christ for us.

Falling, falling, falling flat on our faces...over and over failing, getting up over and over, trying again and again. Marriage IS NOT EASY. Marriage is HARD WORK. Marriage is WORTH IT. I have a best friend, his name is Benjamin. I have someone who can make me laugh until I cry- his name is Benjamin.

Did I ask for life's circumstances to cloud our laughter, no, but we laugh in the rain, and we laugh in the storms, and we laugh in the rainbows....because, if we stop laughing, we stop loving....if we stop holding in the hard times, we will never be able to hold in the good times. If we give up during the gut wrenching moments, we will never be able to give in the "butterflies in the stomach" moments.

Praise be to God for His grace and mercies are new every morning....great is thy faithfulness! God is faithful. He is woven in our marriage, He is our umbrella of protection, under His wings we find refuge. I can't help but brag on my husband, not because he is perfect but because he is faithful. I can't help but feel overwhelmed by my role as his wife, not because I am perfect, but am weak and made perfect in my weakness. Praise be to God.

Wives, do not give up, fight the good fight. We are our husband's advocates, encouragers and supporters when there are none. Never cut down my husband, because I have his back and will fight you back. Thank you God for Benjamin, for the ability to learn and grow together- bless us with many, many years in love- this will happen through your strength- never our own. Our strength is feeble....we need you. May our marriage be a testimony of your grace and love for us. Mold us. Here is our lump of clay.

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